I went on a date with Kush, 28,
today. I saw her profile on an Asian
dating site and she describes herself as ‘shy and ambitious,’ ‘always up for
trying new things’ and is ‘starting my own fashion business’. Sounds good.
She is 5’4” and a size 8. Sounds
even better! The size of a girl isn’t a
deal breaker for me; but I wouldn’t want a girl too tall as I know how girls
love to wear heels and I don’t want a girl to tower over me when I take her out. I wouldn’t want her to feel like she has to restrict her shoe collection! Standing at 5’8” or 5’9”
(I don’t know my exact height, I need to get the tape measure out) I don’t want
a girl smaller than 5’4” so Kush just meets the height benchmark.
We’d spoken a couple of times on
the phone and we chatted about the standard stuff i.e.
“what does your family do?” “What are you looking for in boy/girl friend?” “When do you want to get married?” This was my first date in a long time so I didn’t
have high expectations. A part of me was
excited at meeting her as she sounded like an extrovert which I like.
We met at Borough Market and she gave
me an auntie hug (that’s a side hug) which I found peculiar. “I don’t like touching and getting too close
to people,” she said which I found strange.
Why didn’t she tell me this over the phone so I didn’t look stupid as I
went in for the bear hug? Is there a
form of hug-etiquette when you meet someone for the first time? When I meet girl friends for dinner or
introduced to a girl at a bar, I always give her a continental kiss on the
cheeks or a regular hug. An auntie hug I
reserve for the Gurudwara, as the name suggests, for my aunties. Each to their own.
We went for a walk around Borough
Market which is really nice and there were lots of nice food stalls. I asked Kush “Hey look, this place is selling
kangaroo and shark burgers, lets give these a try.”
“Errr, no way! That’s disgusting!”
I guess you’re not as opened minded as you state on your profile. She suggested we go to Wagamama’s instead so
off we went…
…and we arrived and this quite ordinary date changed. I have
never seen anyone get so excited about an restaurant before, and this is a
regular highstreet Japanese eatery. “I
love Wagamama’s! I know what I’m having,
what are you going to eat?” A very excited
Kush asked. I had never seen her so
animated. “Err, I don’t know, I’ve not
seen the menu yet.” I’ve had Japanese
food before but that was at Nobu which is a lot more high class than
Wagamama’s; the menu here looked dull.
“I’ll choose for you!” So Kush
ordered my food and her own. I didn’t
have any questions planned and was going with the flow, but the flow with Kush
was all one way traffic. As quickly as she
ordered our food had she got out her phone and started showing me ALL her
iPhone snaps. “Here’s a photo of me
dressed as a cat for a fancy dress party… and here’s a picture of my brother… and
here’s a photo of vegetables from our garden…”
It didn’t stop when our food arrived.
She then started telling me her life story, what she did at school, her
holidays, nights out with her cousins, to name but a few. I couldn’t get a word in! I wasn’t expecting my first date in my search
for “Mrs Right” to be sat in a restaurant, eating Japenese food which tasted
like cupboard whilst hearing someone talk about her experiences as head-girl at
Sixth Form, how much she loves Wagamama’s (she really needs to go out and try
better Japanese food) or how she struggled to fit into her trousers whilst
getting dressed this morning!
I had finished my food well
before she did and I promptly asked for the bill as her last mouthful went into
her mouth. We walked back to London
Bridge station. “I had a really good
time,” Kush said which surprised me.
“Thanks, I’ll be in touch.” I
responded – I didn’t enjoy myself, I thought to myself. We gave each other an auntie hug and parted
to get our respective trains. Kush is a
nice girl and I’m sure she will do well with her own business but she needs to
shut her mouth and converse with her date!
I won’t be contacting her any time soon.
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