The airhostess

I met Amrita, 28, an air stewardess from Ealing, West London, this weekend.  She’s one of the girls I met at speed dating last week.  I must admit, I don’t remember anything she said at the event or what she even looked like but I did meet 25 different girls that night.  I phoned her Friday night and we decided to go out for a meal on Saturday as she was due to fly out for work on Monday so this was her only free time for a few days.

I arrived at Ealing station at 5.50pm – we were due to meet at 6pm but I always arrive early as I don’t like to keep a girl waiting.  I am a traditional gent in that I am always punctual, will walk on the road side of the pavement and pay the bill, for example.  I don’t mind if a girl is late for a date, in fact, I think it’s expected, so girls: keep the guy waiting for 5-10 minutes; it’s a good patience and stress test for him!

She arrived just after 6pm and as she walked towards me, I recognised her face but I was shocked at what she was wearing.  I started to have flash backs of the speed dating event and I recalled her face and her wearing a nice blouse and trouser combination and looked fairly attractive that night.  Today, however, was totally different.  She looked like a typical Asian ‘rude’ girl.  Her hair was pleated to one side, she wore white tracksuit bottoms, a plain black top, with a denim overcoat.  I was wearing dark blue jeans and a red jumper – a safe and casual outfit for a night out.  She looked like she had just been released from spending the night in a prison cell!

Amrita had decided we would go to Pizza Express and on our way I asked her what she had been doing all day which might explain why she had decided not to make an effort for our date.  “I’ve been chilling at home and watched a Bollywood film.”  So, basically she had been dossing around and couldn’t be bothered to make any effort whatsoever for our date – poor effort.  I’m not superficial but during the courting period I think it’s nice that each person make an effort to impress the other half – unless Amrita is actually looking to date someone on benefits and a criminal record which may explain the ‘rude’ girl look.

Things didn’t improve during the meal.  She was very monotone and boring.  I would ask her questions about the travel industry she worked in, her holiday, what her colleagues are like and joked about stories of pilots and cabin crew making out during journeys, but she wouldn’t make any comments or add to the conversation.  She didn’t have any hobbies or interests outside of her job and seeing her friends.  I would bring up something that was in the news that week like the phone hacking scandal; the latest episodes of the Apprentice and Britain’s Got Talent; and even the supposed rumours of Prince Harry dating Mollie from the Saturdays, but she still didn’t have anything of interest to say about them!  There were a lot of looong periods of uncomfortable silences during the meal.  I gave up on making any new forms of conversation with her after 10-15 minutes but she did come out with some bizarre sayings:

“My ex loved pizza and we used to come here regularly.”   Why would she take me to a venue where her and her ex would go to often?  Was she hoping to bump into him tonight?  I had to brace myself for potential drama.

“Can I take your picture?”  Creepy!  I politely said ‘no.’  Is she a psycho girl who would put my photo on a wall and stalk me – ick!

“Are you scared of the dark?”  The question on its once isn’t weird but as it came after her asking to take my photo I had images in my head of being gagged and put in a bag on my way home by her and her ‘rude-crew’!  I was carefully watching how she cut the pizza with the knife at this point.

As I bought a slice of pizza to my mouth she said in a mesmerising tone “You remind me of my uncle.” ‘What the duck!’ I thought to myself.  I wanted to jump through the glass window of the restaurant and dash home!  Why would a girl say that and what did she mean by it?  That was the final nail in this date-coffin.

When we finished our meal and left the restaurant, she asked if I wanted her to walk me back to the station.  Based on what she asked and the way she behaved I declined the offer and made my own way.  This was the most peculiar of dates.  Why would someone not make the effort to dress up if you’re looking to meet a potential partner?  How could you not have interesting to say?  She didn’t even think to ask about my holidays, what programs or films I like, what music I like or gigs I’ve been to.  Why would she come out with the most random of things to talk about?  I felt uncomfortable and was relieved to say goodbye and delete her number from my phone on the way home.

Speed dating

I went to my first speed dating event last night and it was good.  This was a specific Sikh speed dating event at a bar in Covent Garden.  As it took place after work most of the attendees were still in their work attire which meant the majority of the people looked smart and presentable.  However, there were a couple of guys who looked like they were going to the pub to watch the football!  C’mon guys, if you’re looking to find “Miss Right” at least make some effort as first impressions count for A LOT!

As this was my first time (to a speed dating event, that is!) I was nervous but the first girl I spoke to put me at ease.   “Don’t worry, just be yourself and you’ll be fine,” said Khilna, a 34 year old English teacher from Middlesex, “This is my third one and it’s all the same.”   And she was certainly right about it all being the same.  Every girl I sat with asked the same monotonous questions “What’s your job?” “Where do you live?” “What are your hobbies?”  By the end of the evening I wish bought my CV along and gave it to all the girls.  One of the girls was SO boring I left halfway through the ordeal conversation to “powder my nose.”

They say people make up their minds on whether they like someone within the first 2-3 minutes, but it’s important that the girl makes as much of an effort as the guy.  It’s all well that I moved from girl-to-girl but it was difficult to keep up my enthusiasm if the new girl I was talking with wasn’t responsive.  I know it’s tiring but, please girls, next time can you keep the happy vibe and not be so negative?  If I do go speed dating again I’m going to prepare some ‘unique’ questions in advance.  Not the boring “How often do you exercise?”  Ehh, what a horrible question!  Why not ask me how “How often do you mas-” no, wait, don’t ask me that!

Speed dating is a good way to meet and chat to a lot of girls in one night.  Last night I met 25 new girls which are more than I’ve ever spoken with in a day.  The majority of them were in their 30’s and saw me as a baby at the mere age of 26 and suggested I enjoy myself for a few more years before settling down.  I appreciate their advice but I would like to meet a girl at this age so we can spend a few years sharing moments and activities together like going on holidays and going to the opera together before finally getting married and having kids.  I know I can go on holiday and par take in events by myself or friends but it’s not as much fun as doing them with someone special.

After the event I did get some success and have 4 girls numbers – woop woop!  I don’t remember a lot about them as everything I learnt about the girls have merged into one big blur.  Over the coming days I will try and find out who they are and try and go on some dates.

Little Miss Chatterbox

I went on a date with Kush, 28, today.  I saw her profile on an Asian dating site and she describes herself as ‘shy and ambitious,’ ‘always up for trying new things’ and is ‘starting my own fashion business’.  Sounds good.  She is 5’4” and a size 8.  Sounds even better!  The size of a girl isn’t a deal breaker for me; but I wouldn’t want a girl too tall as I know how girls love to wear heels and I don’t want a girl to tower over me when I take her out.  I wouldn’t want her to feel like she has to restrict her shoe collection!  Standing at 5’8” or 5’9” (I don’t know my exact height, I need to get the tape measure out) I don’t want a girl smaller than 5’4” so Kush just meets the height benchmark.

We’d spoken a couple of times on the phone and we chatted about the standard stuff i.e. “what does your family do?” “What are you looking for in boy/girl friend?”  “When do you want to get married?”  This was my first date in a long time so I didn’t have high expectations.  A part of me was excited at meeting her as she sounded like an extrovert which I like.

We met at Borough Market and she gave me an auntie hug (that’s a side hug) which I found peculiar.  “I don’t like touching and getting too close to people,” she said which I found strange.  Why didn’t she tell me this over the phone so I didn’t look stupid as I went in for the bear hug?  Is there a form of hug-etiquette when you meet someone for the first time?  When I meet girl friends for dinner or introduced to a girl at a bar, I always give her a continental kiss on the cheeks or a regular hug.  An auntie hug I reserve for the Gurudwara, as the name suggests, for my aunties.  Each to their own.

We went for a walk around Borough Market which is really nice and there were lots of nice food stalls.  I asked Kush “Hey look, this place is selling kangaroo and shark burgers, lets give these a try.”  “Errr, no way! That’s disgusting!”  I guess you’re not as opened minded as you state on your profile.  She suggested we go to Wagamama’s instead so off we went…

…and we arrived and this quite ordinary date changed.  I have never seen anyone get so excited about an restaurant before, and this is a regular highstreet Japanese eatery.  “I love Wagamama’s!  I know what I’m having, what are you going to eat?” A very excited Kush asked.  I had never seen her so animated.  “Err, I don’t know, I’ve not seen the menu yet.”  I’ve had Japanese food before but that was at Nobu which is a lot more high class than Wagamama’s; the menu here looked dull.  “I’ll choose for you!”  So Kush ordered my food and her own.  I didn’t have any questions planned and was going with the flow, but the flow with Kush was all one way traffic.  As quickly as she ordered our food had she got out her phone and started showing me ALL her iPhone snaps.  “Here’s a photo of me dressed as a cat for a fancy dress party… and here’s a picture of my brother… and here’s a photo of vegetables from our garden…”  It didn’t stop when our food arrived.  She then started telling me her life story, what she did at school, her holidays, nights out with her cousins, to name but a few.  I couldn’t get a word in!  I wasn’t expecting my first date in my search for “Mrs Right” to be sat in a restaurant, eating Japenese food which tasted like cupboard whilst hearing someone talk about her experiences as head-girl at Sixth Form, how much she loves Wagamama’s (she really needs to go out and try better Japanese food) or how she struggled to fit into her trousers whilst getting dressed this morning!

I had finished my food well before she did and I promptly asked for the bill as her last mouthful went into her mouth.  We walked back to London Bridge station.  “I had a really good time,” Kush said which surprised me.  “Thanks, I’ll be in touch.”  I responded – I didn’t enjoy myself, I thought to myself.  We gave each other an auntie hug and parted to get our respective trains.  Kush is a nice girl and I’m sure she will do well with her own business but she needs to shut her mouth and converse with her date!  I won’t be contacting her any time soon.

Intro

I moved to London in early 2012 for work and enjoy everything that the bog smoke has to offer: food, entertainment, lifestyle.  Having lived here for a few months, I am now feeling the pressure to find a partner and settle down by relatives, friends and aunti ji's.  The last relationship ended in Summer 2011, and since then I have been casually dating and hooking up.

I'm chivalrous, intellectually-quirky and broadminded.  I am always meeting girls yet I have not met anyone who I really connect with or could see myself being in a relationship with.  Now it's happening.... I'm 26 and ready to settle down!