I'm not saying she's a gold digger but...

I have not had much luck lately with meeting girls I can see myself settling with online or from dating events.  It’s not because I have not tried to like the girls but we just have not clicked.   Another reason for me not being able to find Miss. Right is because I’ve met too many girls who are after one thing as my recent phone date illustrates.

I went back to my parents home this weekend and my dad told me about a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend who has a daughter who’s “single and ready to mingle” (only dads can talk like that).  They said she’s 25, studied Geography at Leeds her family live in Kent.  I was given her e-mail address and sent her a message with my number and a photo attached.  I got a prompt reply.

Hiya,

Thanks for the message.  It’s lovely to hear from you and I like your photo!  You’re very cute!! J

I work at Savills in London and live with my parents in Kent…I’ve recently returned from a fabulous holiday in Monaco…it was amazing chilling by the beach and drinking till the early morning!

It would be great to chat.  I’ve got your number saved on my phone…I’ll call you tomorrow after work!

Look forward to speaking with you!

Clare J x

I liked that she called me cute!  Other than that, it’s difficult to form an opinion on someone from just one message.  When she did call me the following day, I definitely formed an opinion of her from the questions she asked me and what she said about herself.

“I’ve heard your family have a few investments in-”

Before she could finish her sentence I had to interrupt her.  “Investments?  Who have you been talking to?”

“My dad know’s someone who knows your dad.”

“Err.  Ok.  Let’s not talk about the family, let’s talk about us.”  I had to change the topic.  It’s not that I don’t like talking about my family but what my family do is private and I am not going to talk about them to someone who is still a stranger to me.

We spoke about the Olympics briefly before she returned to the topic about my family, “How much money did your dad make from the sale of-”

“Woo, easy there cowgirl!  How do you know about that?”

“My dad’s friend told us.”

“Your dad’s friend has told you a lot about my family.  Why are you so interested in the business side so much?”

“Just interested,” she casually replied followed by a giddy laugh.

I asked her about her recent trip to Monaco and she told me about the other holidays she had taken this year.

“I spent the May bank holiday weekend in Dubai which my friend Tony paid for.”

“Did you pay him back?”

“Oh no, he offered to pay and said he wanted to treat me!”

“Treat you?  A guy will not treat a girl for nothing.  He will expect something in return.”

“Don’t be silly!” she chuckled, “He’s nice guy and wanted to take me away.  I’d always wanted to visit Dubai.”

‘Is she a gold-digger?’ I asked myself.  Everything she seems to talk about revolves about money.  Her dad drives nice cars, she enjoys luxury holidays in the south of France and Dubai, and only ever seems to shop in high-end shops.

I changed the topic and we spoke about the latest Prince Harry scandal in Vegas, and then I asked her, “What’s your ultimate dream?”

Without hesitation, “To be on the cover of Vogue!”

“Vogue?”

“Yeah, have you heard of it?”

“I know vogue is Latin for fashion.  I’m also aware Vogue is a chick’s magazine.”

“It’s the best fashion and lifestyle magazine on the planet and I want to be on it!”

Who does this girl think she is?  Cameron Diaz?  I’ve not seen a photo of her – she never e-mailed me one – and I wasn’t going to ask her how hot she rated herself because she probably would have said something outlandish to describe herself.

“That’s very ambitious!”

Clare laughed.  “Yeah, and I expect my boyfriend to be able to afford my lifestyle!  I’ve heard you live on your own in London.  How much do you earn?  If you don’t mind me asking?”

WHAT?!! How and why is she asking me that question during our first conversation?  “Sorry, I’m not going to answer that.”

I wanted to know more about her past so I asked, “Do you mind telling me why you’re single?”

“I get bored of guys easily,” she effortlessly explained, “My ex was a vet but wouldn’t take me shopping and didn’t invite me on holiday with him when he went to the Dominican Republic with his family.  Before that I dated a project manager but he moved to New York but we still keep in touch and he pays for me to visit him in his place in East Village.  I’m actually going there on November for Thanksgiving.”

“Your ex is paying you to visit him?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

I wonder how many other of her other ex's pay for her to go on holiday.  At the rate this conversation was going I was thinking of buying her a holiday – a one-way ticket to the Moon!

“What’s wrong with expecting to be treated like a Queen?”

“Don’t you think you have to earn that?”

“Don’t you think I deserve it?” I could feel the tension in her voice as she asked me.

“No.  With me you have to earn that-” but before I could finish she interrupted me.

“You’re cheap!”

“What?” How can she call me cheap?

“If you think that then I don’t think I’m right for you and we shouldn’t be talking to each other!”

“You’re dam right Clare!  I’ve not seen a photo of you but I’m sure I could see your picture next to Gold digger in the dictionary!”

“I beg your pardon?!”

And then I heard the cut-off sound – she had hung up on me.

Whoops!  I should not have said that but she had to hear it.  From the questions she asked about my family’s investment portfolio and my bank balance, plus the way she describes her flamboyant lifestyle, she was a girl who expected her man to buy her the world.

Is Clare not aware that she may be labelled a gold digger by others?

There’s nothing wrong for girls, and guys, to expect the best but they have to remember they need to work (hard) for it.